Creativty Crayons courtesy of laffy4k
Creativity and parenting aren’t usually used in the same sentence. But are you a creative parent?
I don’t mean creative in the sense that you do crafts with you kids. Although I highly recommend it.
What I mean is that, when you are faced with a parenting issue like:
- consistent rudeness
- unwillingness to share
- meanness
What do you do about it? Do you have a standard response? Do you try to discuss a reasonable solution?
Or do you use creativity to help solve those problems?
I think, too often, we rely on old patterns of discipline. Probably the patterns handed down to us from our parents.
I remember one time my 2 year old found a lipstick that must have fallen out of my purse. A red lipstick. When she came to show me her pretty hands and clothes. I lost it. I quickly realized that I was responding on automatic. Where did I learn that from. HHHmmmm.
From that moment, I vowed to use creativity in my parenting.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different response.
So if you are attempting to modify some behavior of your child and it’s not working, it’s time to employ some creativity in your parenting.
And one of my favorite things to do is to create some art with my child. I ask them to think about how they where feeling and them have them make a drawing. (this even works with my teenagers, though with a lot of reluctance)
Just getting your child to talk about their feelings, good and bad, and then reflect on how other people might feel, seems to open the door to change.
If you use creativity in your parenting, what are some of the things you do to find creative solutions to parenting issues?
Leave me a message in the comments so we can build a resource for parents.
More From Invisible Heartstrings
Invisible Heartstrings Recommends
- A Great Art Project, Part 1 (High Road Artist)
- Creativity Rocks (Cre8Tive Compass Magazine)
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m still not a parent. Maybe soon. But have you read 7 habits of highly effective people from Covey? In the book he’s got some neat stuff about his relationship with his son. Here’s an excerpt about how he helped his son learn the responsibility of taking care of the yard:
–
Covey: “So you boss yourself. Now, guess who your helper is.”
Son: “Who?”
Covey: “I am,” I said. “You boss me.”
Son: “I do?”
Covey: “That’s right. But my time to help is limited. Sometimes I’m away. But when I’m here, you tell me how I can help. I’ll do anything you want me to do”
–
Might not be immediately applicable to a 2 year old covered in lipstick
. But still was an interesting way to look at a relationship with someone younger and who needs to learn new responsibilities.
And another thing I found recently was how the famous physicist and teacher Richard Feynman realized that his two kids learn the same things through different methods, so he needed to be careful to find the different techniques that were suitable for them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taEw97brZis&feature=player_embedded
Twitter: erenmckay
July 8, 2011 at 5:48 am
Hi Debbie,
One thing I often do is add humor to situations, joke around, and play a lot. We have a whole crazy dynamic in your family that works out in the end. It takes a LOT for me to get serious. It’s so much more fun to make jokes out of situations.
Early on with 3 boys breaking everything, I decided to never get mad about broken stuff. This decision has been great for my emotional wellness. Other people find it strange that I don’t get upset, but I just find that my joy is sooo much more important than that object that just broke. Most of the time they’re accidents and what can you do about that? They just happen.
Loved your article as usual
Blessings,
Eren
Hi Eren,
It was a big insight for me too when I discovered that I could choose how I reacted to any situation. I’m a gardener and decided early on that flowers and plants should be enjoyed by children in any manner they choose. I had a 5 year old friend of my daughter pick every bloom off of my hanging fuschia and bring them to me as a present. I was moved to tears (of joy). Her mother scolded her and I interrupted. Plants should be enjoyed I explained. It’s the only way people will learn to love gardening.
We joke around a lot in my family too. Your children are so lucky to have a well-grounded, funny mom! You’ll really see the benefits when they get to be teenagers.
One Love,
Debbie
One Love,
Debbie